Though I’ve had about four relationships, two of which could be considered serious, I had to
kiss hug a lot of frogs before meeting B (a kiss? Not until I know his dental hygiene habits). I admittedly went out on a lot of first dates, so I thought I would pass along some advice from my experiences. This is mostly directed towards men regarding first dates since that’s all I’ve ever dated, but I suppose it can be advice to anyone.
So men, on first dates, please don’t:
1) Go on a hike with someone and comment on how profusely she sweats, even if true (especially when you have white foamy stuff coming out of the corners of your mouth).
2) Ask her if she has brothers or sisters… five times during the date.
3) Go on a lovely stroll down Pacific Beach pier, notice a light in the far off distance, and ask if she thinks that’s Alcatraz (since it is probably Del Mar, which is about a half-hour away versus 9-10 hours away).
4) Talk about porn out of the blue.
5) Sit down at a restaurant with a woman and, when the waitress comes over to the table, give each other a knowing glance and smirk. It tends to give off the notion that this is the upteenth date of the week.
6) Ask to stop in at a store before walking down to the beach, only to walk out with a bottle in a paper bag.
7) Talk about your ex or other failed relationships.
8) Say (if you asked her out from the gym), “Wow, you look so nice outside the gym!” (I mean, E for effort, but just stop at nice.)
9) When she’s obviously older than you and she reveals her age, say, “Man, really?? You look good for your age.” O_O
10) Notice the woman is Filipino and ask if she speaks Filipinese (or, like my friend told me, ask her if she speaks Mexican. OR, like my best friend proclaimed to someone how he was part Norwegian and she asked where Norwegia was).
11) Don’t try to one-up her in a conversation – “Oh, Costa Rica? Yeah, that was one of my stops during a three-month trip.” (best said in a haughty manner)
12) Don’t ogle other women so blatantly in front of her. Like I tell my guy friends whose girlfriends/wives get mad when doing this, practice “one-alligator-two-alligator-look-away!” (and master it to one-alligator).
And men, I know that women probably do things equally faux pas. So if there’s other dating horror or humor stories, spill it. 🙂
Edit: And of course, this is all just meant for humor and only my viewpoint… I certainly don’t believe that I speak on behalf of everyone, or anyone for that matter! 🙂