Happy Monday, everyone! Consider checking out my other new post: Five Similarities with Weight and Debt Loss.
For the most part, I admit that I’m fairly mistrusting. I think it stems from when I was 6 or 7, and my mom picked up dinner for us at a McDonald’s drive-thru. The Happy Meal promo at the time was a container in the shape of a McDonald’s character, and when you lift the lid open the burger and fries were inside. So my mom handed me my Happy Meal, which was shaped as Grimace, and since she didn’t like “fast food smell” in the car I had to keep it closed for the drive. During the drive, I just kept looking at Grimace’s jovial smile and outstretched arms like he was ready to give me a hug, and I smiled back at my new friend. When we got home, I lifted the lid to find out the container was empty! Instantly, what I mistook for a jovial smile was really one of menace and mischief, and my level of trust and faith in humanity plummeted at that point (well, not really, but I did cry).
So okay, perhaps it wasn’t Grimace but the employee’s oversight, and perhaps there were a few things to avoid this – why we didn’t notice the Happy Meal was hella light, why were we at McDonald’s in the first place, etc. But with instances like these, I kind of have a general mistrust of people, especially when it comes to my belongings and money. I have no shame in counting the change back from a cashier, especially when they lift my see-through bag of mangoes and ask how many is in there (the answer, if you’re curious, was three… three). I periodically check my wallet to make sure all my credit cards are in their proper place, that no monetary bills magically fell (even though there’s a zipper), etc. It also becomes heightened when we travel, as I check every pocket that I dispersed my money in, to the point where it looks like I’m doing a little upper body jig.
So when it comes to “my” money and B’s money turning into “our” money as we start the process of joint accounts, I get a little apprehensive. I love and trust B wholeheartedly, but I guess because I’ve been doing this on my own for more than a decade (we mostly split the bills), I come from a divorced home, and there’s a lot of divorces going on around me, it’s been more of a challenging process than I thought. I think a reasonable first step is any prospective monetary gifts from the wedding, since it only makes sense that this goes into a joint account since it is both of ours. But in figuring out things beyond that, we’ll have to do a little trial and error. I think our ideal is to have a joint account, but still keep personal accounts since we’ve both been independent for so long and pretty autonomous.
It was kind of validating to know KK also thought this was nerve-wracking at first, at least when it came to combined money management. And honestly, I don’t really have any reason to not trust him, considering he’s more financially responsible than me. I guess I’m a bit of a cynic, and think of the worst case scenarios… but, I guess that’s where faith and trust will have to step in! I am pretty sure most PF’ers have combined accounts, but I’m curious how long it took to configure and implement your financial systems.