Rambly Update – Let the Nesting Commence!

Hi everyone!  First of all, holy crap crayon!  I’ve missed so many amazing life events, from engagements to pregnancies to anniversaries to milestone birthdays!  Hugest congrats to these very lovely ladies, I am so happy and excited for all of you!! 🙂

I just wanted to send out a little update that I’m alive and well, and very much rotund these days.  It doesn’t stop me from ‘racing’ B to our doorstep or when we’re about to climb the gym stairs to the second floor (competitive much?  though at least he ‘lets’ me win sometimes (though I think it’s because he is amused by my waddle)), but things are definitely getting a bit harder physically.  I don’t know what’s my favorite, but I’d have to say it’s a tie between having to do dishes with outstretched arms, mouth breathing more often than not, having perpetual crumbs on top of my belly after every meal and snack, and not being able to close windows when there’s a counter in front of it. 😉  Despite all of this, I absolutely cannot wait to meet the little tyke, and am so excited that I can soon begin the single digit weekly countdown until delivery day!

For the most part, we’ve been ‘nesting’, both physically, mentally/emotionally, and financially.  Physically, we’ve resolved that we’re going to keep the crib (that my parents generously bought for us and that we B assembled last night) in the guest room since we will hopefully find our ‘forever’ home in the next year or so.  We’re starting to get baby stuff here and there and, combined with some awesome hand-me-downs, things are starting to get more real!  Flash will be getting bombarded with so much love on all fronts, from parents to our siblings to friends to my coworkers to obviously us – he’s going to be one loved fellow! 🙂

Mentally/emotionally, we’re also starting to take baby classes, like baby CPR, baby basics, and what to expect during delivery.  Not going to lie, when we did the tour of the hospital and stepped into the labor/delivery room, I had a “oh crap, this baby’s gotta come outta me someday!” moment and freaked the heck out.  I think the class on what to expect will be helpful, but I’ve definitely hounded/interviewed all of my friends and coworkers and asked about their experiences just so I can get an idea of the range of possibilities out there.  Emotionally, I feel the least prepared, what with my concerns on when to come back from maternity leave since I just started my new job, as well as feelings of being a competent mom in general.  I just hope I do this kid right and not let him down!

Financially, B and I have, for now, figured out which day care we’re going with, which is a great peace of mind.  We decided on a ‘corporate’ one versus home, admittedly from my own biases (less chance of any TV being there, there’s often a security gate/code, there’s a 4-1 ratio with infants only as opposed to 6-1 of all ages at home, etc.), but the ones near my work are way more costly (average $410/week) versus his work (about $260-$350/week).  Since the daycares and reviews were pretty comparable, we’ve ultimately decided to go with the latter.  This is a bit challenging for me since I’m used to taking care of things (and okay, like having things my way) and have always envisioned of me dropping off/picking up the little tyke, but as Elsa in “Frozen” sings, I just have to “let it go… let it go…” (ha!, my mantra for a lot of things lately) because I know I’ll have to be more reliant on B (plus, he’s my partner and I know will make such a great dad, so I know it’s my mentality that I have to fix).

We’re also getting our finance-related documents in order, from budgets, wills and trusts, and life insurance (also supplemental disability, though I’d obvi have to wait until after I give birth).  I’ve admittedly only figured out now the difference between life insurance policies (i.e., terms versus variable, at least), but am curious – if you have it, what did you end up going with (or is this too personal to ask?  My manners have all but gone out the window lately so I’ll still ask :))?  Both seem to have pro’s and con’s to them, though variable seems a bit more appealing since it feels like at least there’s this little ‘pot of money’ that I’m putting money into versus term that just goes away if not used (at least, we hope that it won’t be used and that we both live a very long life!).  However, I do realize that if term is more reasonably priced, and that we could just save and have said ‘pot of money’, anyway, so there’s that.  His finance planner is creating the different types of scenarios for us, so I suppose we can make a decision then based on some actual figures.  If you have any advice on it, though, I would love to hear it!

Anyway, that’s been going on in my corner of the earth!  I hope you are doing extremely well and keeping healthy, and that even more amazing life experiences and events happen to all of you! 🙂

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32 thoughts on “Rambly Update – Let the Nesting Commence!

  1. Hey Anna! Glad to see you popped back up again. I was just thinking about you 🙂 things definitely sound like they are progressing nicely, but I can totally imagine that realization of “oh crap, at the end of a pregnancy I will have a baby, but it has to get out of my belly…” moment.

    As for life insurance, I’m no expert and I don’t have children, so take it with a grain of salt. I went term because, in theory, in 25 years when the policy ends I will be 50+. But that point I should hopefully essentially be “self-insured”. Mortgage should be paid off, shouldn’t have debt, will likely still have work policies (2x my salary), so I won’t be covering that much if I pass away. Obviously it is different if you have children, because at 50, your kids will be still dependent. If you want to help with schooling costs it might be right at the time your term runs out and, heaven forbid something happens… well, you’d need more. I guess I view life insurance as a way to hedge bets rather than a horribly morbid “get rich lottery”. That said, in some cases, whole insurance can be used for quite wealthy individuals as a tax planning strategy… that ain’t me, so I can’t comment 🙂

    • Hi Alicia – glad I wouldn’t be the only one who would freak a little with the reality of popping a baby out! Seeing the actual room and bed and stuff made it super real, but it was also good peace of mind to know what it looks like beforehand. Thank you SO much for your advice on life insurance – I’m definitely not super wealthy, either, so I don’t need to worry about that aspect, but I agree it would be important to envision ourselves at the end of the policy and see what we could need at that time. Thank you for your input and I hope you are doing well!! 🙂

  2. So glad to see you guys are doing well!

    Like Alicia, we have term life policies, but actually only carry the ones that we have through our jobs (standard AD&D policies – Mr PoP’s is 2x, mine is 3x). Either one of those would be more than enough to pay off the mortgage and leave the other person set for quite some time (possibly forever) depending how spending shook out as a singleton.

    From everything I understand, Whole Life policies are TERRIBLE investments and you’re much more likely to be better off taking the difference in cost between term and whole policies and tossing it in an index fund than you are paying for whole life policies. Seems like Whole Life policies are better for people who need “forced savings” and term life policies are better for people who can take charge of their own savings. But definitely get the quotes, there’s no harm.

    • OMG, I love your new avatar Mrs. PoP (though I loved your previous one, as well)! Kitty PoP looks artistic and pensive in the pic. 🙂 Thank you for your advice on life insurance! I’m definitely a noob when it comes to this stuff, so I didn’t initially see whole life as ‘forced savings’ though it does make sense! We have life insurance at our work, as well, but less than our annual salaries – I wonder if it’s something we can supplement, though, and just go through our work? Thanks for planting that seed, we’ll have to check it out! 🙂

  3. Yay, I’m so excited to hear how everything is coming together for you! If I end up having a kid, I think I’ll stay in denial about the whole “this baby is coming out of me someday!” thing until the very end, when I’m hopefully too delirious to notice. =) I can’t imagine how hard it is to prepare emotionally, but I’m sure you will both be great parents and make an adorable family! Flash will be one lucky little guy.

    I don’t have life insurance, but I’ll echo the other comments and say from research, term seems to be the way to go, and to avoid whole at all costs. Thanks again on the congratulations!

    • Aww, thanks for the confidence that we’ll be good parents, Erin! I sure hope so, especially since we can read all we want, but we won’t know what it will be like until Flash is finally here! Thank you for your input on life insurance, as well – I’m glad I asked! I absolutely cannot wait to hear about your wedding planning, congrats again on your recent engagement!! 🙂

  4. LOVE getting your updates!! Congrats on determining your childcare option, I know you were stressing on that and I know what you mean about drop offs and pick ups. My hubby ended up being that guy and it was always funny/sad when I would sometimes go to get my own son and no one (except my son) knew who I was. I remember doing the new baby classes and refusing to watch the birthing video. I knew if I saw a baby coming out of some woman’s vajayjay that I would never have my own kid. I wanted to live in ignorant bliss of how babies came out until the very last moment. As it was, when I was pushing, I envisioned anything other than a human coming out of me.

    • Oops, just realized I didn’t comment on your insurance question. We have term insurance and I recommend it to all of my clients. Financial planners do not get paid much to sell term so keep that in your mind, especially if the planner is swaying you into whole life. There are other ways to invest and grow your wealth without paying all of the fees that are imbedded in a whole life policy.

      • Thank you, as well, for your great advice on the life insurance! Come to think of it, it did seem like the planner was emphasizing the alternative more… I guess I’m too trusting. Thank you for your very honest advice!!

    • Hi Shannon, thank you again for all your great advice on the child care situation – it really convinced me to pick a ‘corporate’ one more, so thank you, thank you!! Oh dear, I definitely don’t want to watch an actual birth, either, even if it is on video. I remember during the walk-through they said that we could have a mirror down there if we wanted, but I think I would opt out to be honest. We’re going to a ‘crash course’ class (instead of the whole weekend one), so I’m hoping they won’t show the video due to lack of time!

  5. Glad to hear you are doing well and that your pregnancy is coming along nicely! Did you ever take the 2nd glucose test? How’d it go? I remember the nesting phase 🙂 It doesn’t stop! I remember I was still getting things done, moving this, that, and the other around, the day I went into labor, lol 🙂

    • I totally forgot about that test, but yes, I passed – yay!! Haha, I know, it feels like this nesting stuff is starting to get overwhelming, I’m sure I’ll be still doing stuff until Flash arrives! Any advice on the ‘must do’ before baby comes? Thank you, as always for your support, Mackenzie! I apologize in advance if you end up getting panic texts from me when he actually arrives haha. xo

  6. “Holy Crayon” haha…the other day a car cut me off I said “f*&$” but realized little LRC is starting to say things so I need to watch myself. Good to hear everything is going well. It seems like the consensus here is term life insurance. I agree. I’ve heard term4sale.com is a good place to comparison shop. I can empathize with feeling unprepared…as with the baby class, the hospital visit/class was okay. It made me feel at ease because I knew where it was, what to do (though it ended up not mattering since the baby decided to come at home. Some friend talked about hypno-birthing technique…others talked about the “Bradley method.” The Bradley method sounded good, but we couldn’t commit to going to 12 classes, but we met with a Bradley instructor and gave us an overview, read the book and found that helpful.

    • Haha, we’re not big cussers, but I for sure want to curb any words just in case. Thanks for the site on life insurance – we’ll definitely have to comparison shop before we make a decision! I can’t believe LRC came at home – I would be super terrified, your wife is super strong to have gone through delivery without an epidural or anything! I’ve never heard of the Bradley method, so I’ll have to look it up – thank you for letting me know! 🙂

  7. Congrats on the new baby on the way. I’m writing as I hold the blissfully sleeping Mini Maroon 2. The fear of being a competent mom is one that I think we all face. I heard/read something once that said if you’re actually worried about it, then you have nothing to worry about at all. It’s the folks that don’t care from the beginning that should concern us. That being said, mommy-guilt is one of the worst feelings… Try your best to not get sucked into that blackhole. Have the confidence that whatever you’re doing is the best for you, your husband, and your baby. And tell anyone that tries to tell you otherwise to go stick it!!

    • Awww, congrats to your Mini Maroon 2!! What a cute name. You definitely hit it right on the nose about all my fears and guilts – I just don’t want to feel like I’m not doing enough or feeling like I’m letting our baby or my husband down, but I hope things pan out and work themselves out. Thank you so much for your kind words – I am definitely taking it to heart and will remember to ‘let it go’ when it comes to fears and guilts! 🙂

    • Thank you, as well, for your great advice! Ha, I never thought about it that way, but you’re exactly right! I’m for sure glad that we have our childcare option in place. 🙂

  8. Yay, happy for an update! 🙂 Glad you are doing well. I think you will be an amazing mom and it will all make sense soon enough. I don’t know anything worth telling you about life insurance, but let us know what you decide and why — it could be your next post 😉 Keep resting and taking care of yourself my dear!

    • Aww, thank you so much for your vote of confidence in me, Melanie! For sure, I’ll write about what we end up with life insurance wise. 🙂 I hope you had a wonderful 30th birthday (OMG, I realized I didn’t add you to milestone birthdays! I”ll have to make a big deal next time ;)), and an even better decade of even more self-realization and success! 🙂

  9. Yes! Anna is back 🙂 DH and I hold a term life insurance policy because it’s mainly to help cover expenses in the event our little J. loses us. By the time the term expires, he should be well into his twenties and hopefully is self-sufficient lol. All expecting moms doubt themselves but I am so sure that you will be a wonderful and very caring mother – you’re making a point to write about it so that tells me a a lot. As for work, it’s a toughie but focus on your upcoming delivery and see how you feel afterwards as to when you think you should go back to work. Be well, say hi to Flash for me and thank you for the mention and well wishes 🙂

    • Thank you so much for your input on what life insurance you have, Kassandra! That’s a great point about seeing where we and our dependents will be by the time the policy ends – that’s true that for the most part they should be self-sufficient, so thanks for making that point! Thank you, as well, for believing in me about being a good mom. I hope you had a wonderful anniversary with your DH!! 🙂

  10. I love your updates, Anna! Glad you and baby Flash are doing well. And LOL – can’t close windows if there is a counter in front of you! 🙂 I’m sure being nervous about becoming a Mom is common but Anna – you’re going to be an AMAZING Mama! Are you dressing up for Halloween? I could see you a rotund ewok. I know lots of people didn’t like ewoks, but I loved them. Granted, I considered them to be real life teddy bears. 🙂 Yeah, I’m weird.

    • Haha, I loved Ewoks, too!! I didn’t dress up with a Star Wars theme, though we’re soon planning for our Star Wars themed baby shower! For the most part it’s just the awful food puns I mentioned before, but next Halloween I hope we can be a themed SW family. Thank you so much for thinking I will be an amazing mom, Tanya, it really means a lot!:)

  11. Enjoy this time. My best advice to you is to enjoy this time because once the baby is out, it is a 24/7 mental exercise. You can’t ever leave him alone or do anything alone any more, so ENJOY THIS FREE TIME!!! 🙂

    I also really loved being pregnant. I remember being too big to reach the sink and not being able to tie my shoes.. so all of this is making me wistful 🙂

    • Haha, I always love your advice!! I agree, I absolutely love being pregnant, too, despite some of the not-so-fun aspects of it. Feeling him move around has been the most amazing experience, I can’t get enough of it! I hope you and Baby Bun are doing well – I might have missed some mommy updates from you, but I do my best to pay attention and take notes when you do post about your experiences! 🙂

  12. holy cow! We pay $173 a week for a daycare center. We picked it for similar concerns (no TV for infants, lower ratios, etc). Could not afford $400 a week!

    Re: labor . . . I gave birth in July, so this is still fresh for me. Prepare as best you can, but you don’t know how it will go for you until you get there. I was a labor puker, I was in labor for two days, and it was all around rough. I had no way of knowing any of this in advance. It did suck, but I have my awesome baby now, so it worked out in the end. The baby’s got to come out of you somehow. My biggest piece of advice is to be open to the moment and what you need. Don’t worry about how you thought it would be, and don’t worry about other people — focus on what YOU and YOU alone need to get through it.

    Oh, with one caveat: I let my partner sleep through the two nights of me in labor and only kept him up on the last one when I delivered. He’s not supportive when he is exhausted. But, otherwise, I did what I needed. It wasn’t what I expected, but it got my baby out.

    best of luck!

  13. So glad to get an update, Anna, and that you found an awesome daycare too!! LOL, when we were on the way to the hospital with our firstborn, I said to Rick “I don’t wanna do this”. He was like, “Umm, too late now, hon.” Labor is scary, but just focus on the moment and you’ll be just fine, my friend. The contractions are worth it a million times over the second you lay your eyes on that baby. 🙂

  14. FWIW, we went term all the way. I’ve heard terrible things on other life policies. Matt at Mom & Dad money is my SME when it comes to insurance though, so maybe he can help? Thanks so much for the update and I’m excited for all the good stuff coming your way!

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